Knowing me

Now that is one question that has bewildered me for all the years i have been treading along. I have been a rolling stone (but contrary to the old adage, i indeed have gathered quite a bit of mass), with no absolute affinity or utter dislike to anything. I am agnostic, but then again i do enjoy the peace and tranquility of some temples or churches or monasteries, or for that matter blurt out a Thank God occasionally. I am kind-of emotionally challenged, autistic like or more so like the Khan-from-the-epiglottis Rizwan, who has a challenge showing the right emotion (i can not remember when i ever really cried). Or always fail to understand people fully apart from what they say or show directly. Interpreting implicit things has never been my cup of tea. I fail miserably at expressing my emotions or stating what i want. Communication has always been my Achilles heel. Taking things at the face value is my way. One thing that would more or less summarize my approach is: status quo. Wow, that is actually a cool word to shroud my laziness. I just can not pull myself to change the way things are. Just let it be. How very convenient. But then there are many good fallouts of that. I am happy with anything. Be it food, clothing, job, weather, or even loneliness. For all the inaction, i am notorious to make up for it in verbal duels. I hold on unabashedly to my opinions during discussions (i should rather say arguments because with me that is what it turns out to be). Nevertheless, for all the banter and disagreements, in the end comply with anything people around me do or ask me to do. I am an absolute do-gooder. I hate to say no to anyone and go to any lengths to do anything for friends or even others when they ask me for something. I get along with all kind of people. Did i mention about food? How could i miss that!! All varieties of cuisines suit me perfectly. Yeah, i am absolutely non-fussy about grub. And it shows. My needs are simple. So though i spend impulsively and foolishly many a times, i can live in deprivation without any grouse. My memory, well that is a perplexing thing. For certain things, i am myself stunned by things which i can recall with ease. Names of the characters in some of my favourite novels. Or the authors of some of the poems or stories in the English text books. Numbers I have a special liking for. Like my Class X and XII Board Exam hall-ticket number (how boring!). Phone numbers which i want stick on my head for a long long time. But on the other extreme i keep forgetting a lot of things to the extent that i sometimes worry about Alzheimer's. My perennial inability to remember faces and names and relations have landed me in quite a few tight spots and embarrassments. I still manage to escape by maintaining a smile in those umpteen family functions where everyone seems to know you and you really fail to place someone who you are supposed to know. Anyway, in my life, i do try to be nice to people, keeping an egalitarian view and open for different cultures, languages, etc. I am quite nerd-like. Boring demeanour, asking too many questions, not a conversationlist or socialite. However, contrary to what people initially consider me to be, i am all game for tagging along. One bad thing in me that i would surely single out is my short-temper. And that ties back to the umpteen arguments. But then those bursts are only momentary. I do not carry back any bad feelings. People who have known me can vouch that i do not mind anything that anyone tells me (apart from the momentary show of anger at times). There are many more intriguing things to list out, but save that for later. If there is one treasure that i cherish in life, it is the absolute trust, respect and affection i get from many of the people close to me. That is my pillar of strength, that is what keeps me ticking. For now, signing off.